You mouthed off again, buttercup, you engage rage first then it’s hand-to-mouth in oh-oh! Thoughts then rationalise and it’s cringing need to apologise. A note left beneath here or there to to try to show you truly care.
But bullet words leave wounds. From a clipped arm to a head like a macabre rose. Brain wasted so much that the following day feels like tentative steps through a haunted house. What do you do? What do you say? Avoidance drags things out no doubts fuelling paranoia. And the rest.
Soon it becomes should you stay or should you go? A myriad of runways to run and take off from. Causing more reinforcement of pre-existing self negativity as the cycle of vicious psychology goes on. And has gone on and on repeatedly for years.
Now the reconciliation and explanation. It’s typical, usual, mortifying and agonising. Sitting at the bottom of the garden with notepad full of Dialectical Behavioural Therapy exercises. Birds twittering and you’re convinced they’re tweeting at you, giving you hell. But wait.
There’s more than a solitary person in any relationship Reflect upon the lead up. The subject of a Borderline person’s fury may have deserved a ticking off. So how do you know you were wrong and didn’t merit an onslaught of self abuse?
A confusing question.
© Copyright: Sharon Lawson™