At this present moment in time I’m sat thinking, “What do I do, where do I start?” and feeling like a bird in a flap not quite knowing which branch to settle. on. The risky frail twigs? The stumpy rotten ones? Or the obvious, safe place sturdy branch? I’ve a backlog of contenet old and new to upload but feel dazed and confused so I’ll write what’s on my mind. This will take a while.
My vision is slightly blurred (and attacks of diplopia) with the constant addition of tinnitus which fluctuates between the low pitched sound of a plane’s engines as you fly on your next adventures and the annoying squeal of a dentist’s drill. Thankfully without the water and suction tube grabbing my tongue! I keep pressing the wrong keys and hitting backspace but I’m so well adapted to my stupid weird body that I can manage. God! Backspace again! Okay. Yes, this phenominon is what a recent GP telephone appointment suspected was bloody annoying Meniere’s Disease. Not concrete though, could be a build up of ear wax! Vertigo aka plain old dizziness is thrown in for fun. I was given medication to help with the nausea, which feels like motion sickness, and the weirdest exercise ever: the Brandt-Daroff exercise thrice a day. This is like being at the fair so I guess my imagination can get me through the surges in symptoms. I’ll pretend I’m on the meanest rollercoaster ever!
What the Hell next though, I wonder with worry. Can brain bleed damage really snowball over the years to smack you around with crazy syndromes, diseases and disorders? Probably yes hence the neurologist at the time not giving anything away regarding future outlook. Oh, and I forgot my withered pigeon leg and fucked-up toe. You have to laugh at these things otherwise they’ll consume you and make you depressed. I have depressive episodes as part of my hey yo, BDP in the house. Sorry, don’t know where that came from. So I’m used to feeling strange and unusual.
A friend has been giving me writing prompts which are a wonderful help to get my mind coping with my health and contemplating plus, I can’t think of the word, oh ACTS as a distraction from life. I sat in the garden listening to the birds and odd plane and wrote What Makes Me Happy. My memories and current life flooded into my skull as though my Circle of Willis was suddenly nicked with a scalpel. My hand wrote and wrote until I suddenly ran out of paper and realised I was covered in the falling tree blossoms. Then I was challenged to a poem considering When Things Get Tough. I fired that out almost as quick as the timer on my husband’s electric toothbrush which seemed to start as the same time as my pen in a race.
What Makes You Happy?
What Do You Do When Things Get Tough?
© Copyright: Sharon Lawson™